Potty Problems: Your Guide to Restrooms in Southeast Asia

To Squat or to Sit?  That…is NOT the question.  And no, you lazy westerners who lack in the squatimous maximus muscle, the answer is not always “Sit—duh!!”  Let me break it down for you.  (This is your chance to bail, those of you who don’t appreciate my open dialogue on such things)  When inspecting your possible potties, tally up your points as you check the following…

Water on the Floor?

NO: 1 pt. 

YES: 0 pts.

Flushable?

YES (button/lever): 2 pts.

YES (automatic): 1 pts. (Don’t rush me!)

YES (With do-it-yourself hose/bucket): 1 pt.

NO: 0 Points

Bowl Condition Upon Arrival:

Clean: 2 points.

Terd already inhabiting the bowl:  0 pts

Terd already inhabiting a bowl that is not flushable: -1 points.

Toilet Paper?

YES: 2 pts*

NO: 0 pts.

*If the toilet paper is wet, it doesn’t count

*The answer is almost always no, so you best be packing your own.

Now, remember, I have used toilets with all kinds of ratings, even those in the negatives. My bum is not above any stall and neither is yours.  However, in my humble opinion, when given the chance to relieve yourself where you wish, the stall with the most points wins, be it sitty or squatty.  If it’s a tie, sure—treat yourself and take a breather on the throne.  That’s how I see it.